Lonely in a crowd

For once - something not game related. Just a few thoughts that hit me hard tonight.

I just had to realize again how lonely you can be in a crowd. Being among people that you know - but don’t really know, how you walk from one group to another because you don’t belong anywhere, how you sit at your table awkwardly, staring at the water glass or decoration, just trying to find something that you can busy yourself with. On the one hand you want to join groups and talk, at the same time you don’t want to seem too desperate. 

I suppose I just felt again how frustrating it is to be unable to find anyone I would truly call a friend. Sure, I have a lot of great colleagues and acquaintances but that is as far as it gets. It seems the harder I try, the further I get from my goal. It’s an unending road and every time you feel relief because you think you see the light of a gas station, you realize it was just another road-sign, telling you it is another 60 miles.

I miss the times in which my friends on the other side of the ocean called and stated that we would have coffee downtown. Or that just anyone would call me up to go to a movie, or a party or anything really. At the same time I miss having the same opportunity. Being an ocean apart - it can really wear down the high hopes and optimism. A new job, a new country and a new life - yet nothing really works the way you want.

And to top it all off - the first guy since 3 years that actually interested me, walks in with his new girlfriend. Oh joy!

Anyway, I don’t even know if anyone would ever read this, but it feels good to put it into words. Keep warm and hold those dearest to you close!

5 months ago  /  3 notes  / 

Raphael Sbarge - a brilliant comment about playing Mass Effect.

Found this over deviantart and had to smile like mad. Finally something from Mass Effect - even if more or less indirectly - that cheered me up. Thanks Raphael - you’re the best.

11 months ago  /  12 notes  /   /  Source: http

Prototype 2 or “What in the world were you thinking?!”

This post contains spoilers for the main game so if you don’t want to know or are still planning to buy and play the game - stay away.

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Ok, I just have to get this out of my system because ever since I heard about it, it has been bugging me.

Activision and Radical Entertainment did provide me with an amazing game - 2009! Prototype was great, it was fast, it was bloody, it was interesting and fun to look at and to play and they provided me with a character that I fell in love with. Alex Mercer was a brilliant figure! His path from waking up to realizing what he is; his search for a place in the world; his actions that are meant to bring him closer to his old life but only distance him further - he was awesome. I loved it how they displayed his doubts, his rage at himself at those around him and how he started to adept being what he was. The ending was great and when I heard Prototype 2 was in the making - I squealed of joy!!

But then came the first disappointment - Heller. No longer would we play the amazing character of Alex Mercer, but we got a replacement! So, that’s when I began to worry about Alex’ Fate but friends told me: “Just wait and see. Eventually Heller and Mercer will be against the rest of the world.” Believing it this made it acceptable and it wasn’t until some days ago that I dared to look into the actual story of Prototype 2.

Videos, texts, reviews and doom’s herald: http://prototype.wikia.com/wiki! I found Alex, saw that he was indeed part of the second game and then I held my breath. At the bottom of his entry, right under biography I saw : Death!

I couldn’t believe it and read the rest, and I was even more speechless. They had managed to change an utterly amazing char into your average psychopath and then had him destroyed by his own creation. I mean: Really??!! Not even an option? Not a chance to persuade him? Not a way to get him to respect humanity again? But just turn him into a freaking monster that will sacrifice everything?

Congrats Activision and Radical Entertainment for screwing up a character - bigtime. At least you are saving me money - because if Alex dies, I won’t buy the game. It’s a statement I made long ago and I will stand by it. I came to the conclusion that Prototype 2 does not exist - you hear me? You made a great game 2009 and that’s all there is to it. You could have used that to make a great sequel, a great story with an already interesting Alex but you chose to destroy him and provide us with a forgettable character. Unforgivable!

Alex, you will never be forgotten and for me, you will be immortal!

1 year ago  /  12 notes  / 

onlytowardschaos:

yukidama:

3parts:

zenjestr:

isaviel:

the difference between that ending and your ending, Priestly, is that that ending had build up….

a more accurate analogy would be “and right before Christ was impaled on the cross, Quetzalcoatl, Zeus, and Vishnu roundhouse kicked the Romans in the nuts and gave Jesus three choice: Convert to Their Religion(s), Merge All Religions, Destroy All Religions…..then the disciples get stranded on Madagascar and all horses and camels die”

…and besides, his death was for nothing anyway because he came back in the end sooooo….yea…

snrk

Yes, the awfulness of the endings is just all in out heads, that’s why you’re releasing free DLC lol.

Sorry reblogging again because that analogy was amazing.

(via masserrect-deactivated20120803)

1 year ago  /  422 notes  /   /  Source: isaviel

Mass Effect 3 - Extended End DLC. ~ So now we get a lengthened bad ending!

*Spoilers ahead!!*

So, Bioware decided that an extended ending DLC would cut it - and I can only think that they just shot themselves in the foot - again.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot feel optimistic about it. It’s free - yeah, I will give them credit for that but that’s all I can do. I feel as if they had a great chance to make it right and just… wasted it - again!
Indeed, I don’t know how it will look or turn out to be but explaining to me why things happen they way they do without changing anything about the things happening doesn’t fix it for me.

They’ll explain if or why Shep lives and why Joker fled? They’ll explain why or how he managed the little stunts the way he did - I mean picking up the squad from right next to the beam and managing to hit a relay and fly off within mere minutes while leaving Shepard behind? Really? And even if they come up with excuses and explanations about why the relays exploding didn’t kill off entire systems - suddenly telling me that all ships and armies had enough food to survive their way back home with FTL just doesn’t cut it - this of course considering Jessica’s comment that “nobody starves”. And if it ends up with them all dying because they didn’t pack the food - I don’t wanna know. I don’t want the remains of the galaxy to remember Shepard as the “worst killer of all times - even outdid the enemy”.

And everything else - just seems pointless. I usually choose destroy - so there will be no epilogue about the Quarians and Geth - because if BW forces me to take that abomination at face value - the Geth died. Hell, they might have killed more Quarians by having been uploaded in their suits. Joker will hate Shepard because EDI is dead and Shepard should have died but didn’t…
Garrus could have become a new Primarch but luckily - he is stuck on a jungle planet with the rest of a crew who provide a main point of interest for me. But there won’t be much to tell unless my LI starts going out with someone else from the crew and they are making a new colony - but that is something else I really don’t wanna know - and I don’t want them to name their first born after my Shep either.

The Krogans - who are stuck on Palaven and Earth will run out of targets, out of food and if they try to return to Tuchanka with FTL - they will run out of sedatives that keeps them from tearing each other apart on the long trip. Cities will be destroyed because the dead Reapers fell on them and if anything, the amount of corpses and wild husks (if they didn’t just fall over dead because they are partially synthetic) should provide us with plenty of plagues and diseases and it will take years to rebuild anything at all.

And if you choose Synthesis - wow, yeah I would love to hear how Javik is taking that and how many he kills before he probably kills himself. I would love to hear how Geth and EDI are suddenly more organic and are provided a new “DNA” - maybe EDI can actually grow skin or she starts sweating when playing chess.

*takes a deep breath*
I usually try to be an optimistic person - or at least a realist but Bioware makes me forget that. This was probably the worst decision they could have made and I have reached my limit. I wanted to believe in them - I wanted to give them a chance but this is just short of being an insult.

Dear Bioware~

You broke my heart and where I used to trust you and blindly pre-order your games - there is now festering wound filled with disappointment and sadness.

1 year ago  /  0 notes  /   /  Source: blog.bioware.com

Anonymous asked: After working in IT industry for over 10 years, you are kinda forced to learn to know that usually the customer is horribly wrong and goddamn stupid. ME3 is a great example of that.

It is indeed, but I also see it as an opportunity to bring forth a little change. I have long given up on this being an intentional attempt of Bioware/EA to create suspense - the long silence and lack of information in general just doesn’t seem to fit into it.

But I also think that things have changed over the last years, the actual group of gamers has changed. It’s core is no longer only teenagers who disagree buy acting horribly in forums but more and more adults with jobs and family and money (that could potentially be spent on games). I heard something about the average of American gamer being 35 - though I am not sure if this was a reference directly connected with Mass Effect3. But fact is that the new group of customers is more critical, skeptical and no longer afraid to speak up - and that in a matter that it cannot be put down as mere “fanboy or fangirl moaning”.

And of course news spread much faster nowadays, due to the social network overlords. One wrong message can cause a ruckus - even if it is deleted minutes later. What once appeared online - stays online. This can be a good thing but at the same time, it can make companies or private users more cautious as well - and I think that’s one of the reasons why BW/EA have been so quiet.

However, I truly hope that the people - the consumers, the customers will remember that they have a chance to voice their opinions - and if it is only with their wallets.

1 year ago  /  0 notes  /